Did I blink?

It is amazing to me how fast time flies by.

How kids grow at a rate to shame the most ambitious bamboo,

How pets gray and mellow.

How the joints you never paid any attention to are now reminding you of the

stupid things you did in years past.

It has been a year since my step father Peter passed away.

A YEAR

I had not thought much of the date or the sad anniversary that it marks- until yesterday.

I was at Miss's Gym class and chatting with another Mom in the parent holding area. I started

talking about school and moving and Peter.

I am not sure how I ended up there, but I must have gone on a bit too long as I could see her eyes glossing over.

After Gym, on the drive home, Miss was in Movie land with her headphones in the back seat, and my mind wandered over the past year. I miss Peter- I guess that is just the way it goes.

I spent a few minutes in the back yard looking at the roses and trees. The roses have bloomed continuously the entire time we have lived here. The grass is lush and green and the bougainvillea are thriving. The yard is a peaceful place. There is magic there in the old roses and mystery plants. (The ones that show up for a bit and wither away.)

We have a picture of an old tree that hangs on our wall. A passerby would see an old twisted tree in an unimpressive landscape. I have searched that photo down to the pixel. I have looked at every leaf and branch- looking for a ghost. The tree is a photograph I took the day we scattered Ray's Mom's ashes at the base of that tree. Though I have never seen a spirit in that photo, it brings me peace when I look there.

I have looked for ghosts in the garden. I wonder if I will find an old hat or the footprints of Peter's ugly shoes. Much like the photo on our wall there are no ghosts there, but the garden brings me peace. I walk to the roses every day to appreciate the new buds and remove the old. I have learned to take a moment to stop and enjoy them- they wither much faster than I would like. Maybe that is my ghost in the garden, maybe the old roses are whispering to me in shades of red and pink... they are reminding me to appreciate them today.

This morning I went to pick some roses. It was chilly outside as I ventured in my tee shirt and pajama pants. I approached a huge pink flower with my clippers in hand, half joking I said "Well, what do you think of this one?" The sprinklers came on soaking me in an instant. The flower stayed.... apparently my ghost has a sense of humor.